"what's wrong?"...

in the crevasses of my own life 
you ask: "what's wrong?"
i answer: "you scare me and i like it"
i think: "you take me for who i am" 

you are like the sun caressing the earth's bosom
surrendering, embracing the unknowns
shining light on the forgotten
appreciating true beauty

you answer: "i am in love with your perfect 'imperfections' "
you thought: "you are my utopia"

...trust me im faking

I dont know if people understand my true inability to really trust people. I often find myself acting like I trust the situation but in the back of my mind I am always looking for a way out (just in case). Its not that I dont like you, I probably love you, its that when you bring people into your own world there is such a high level of vulnerability that its difficult to relax. I may seem relaxed but I have really just practiced enough to show comfort in the uncomfortable. It maybe from the past or the uncertainty of the future that makes me feel this way. 


Even the relative trust that I am able to give is the last thing given and the first to go. 


When I digress from a situation its not because I dont like you its because I am slowly removing the fragment of trust that existed between us. I can still smile when the time comes. I can still laugh when things present themselves. But I can not pretend to have trust when I have this feeling of reluctance and a lack of confidence in a person I thought I knew.