...love her

in the morning mist

love her

she understands 

your silence

appearing untouchable

her emotions are condensed

suspended in her mind

no one 

feels her pain

she smiles

stubborn

to her own truth

crying heartbeats

weeping forgiveness

she'll be good tomorrow

or next week 

maybe later

dont hesitate

on the rainy afternoons

love her

she recognizes

your honesty

because

no one

has the capacity

because

a daughter feels

her strength

immeasurable 

her courage

understated

in the evening dust

love her

she sees you

she loves you

...maybe in the morning

The sunrises and the sunsets. There is asymmetric symmetry in how the world works and how it turns. Today I believed in myself and now I am not sure what I believe in. I don't know where I am heading or who I am going to be the next time the sun sets and the following moment the sun rises. I am trying to make sense of my confusion. Trying to decipher through the mess of my own circumstances. I am trying and I feel that some moments I am failing. HARD. But I don't know what to do about it. I don't know if I can do anything about it. I just want what I want with the security of knowing I will get it. Maybe I am working to hard for something I won't get.

Someone once said "once something good is happening in your life then something else takes the counter and falls apart". Does this apply to friendships? Maybe even education?

I really think I am going in the right direction. I really think I am working toward something I want. But I don't think it will be as straightforward as I hope. I think that I will have to take an unconventional path in order to end up where I thought I would be originally. Do I have time for that? What is time?

Maybe I will understand in the morning. Maybe I will be able to get out of bed and just know what's going on. Maybe I will be stepping in the right direction. Maybe I won't fall on my a** and lay there hysterically. Maybe I will jump high and run fast in the way of success.

...it doesnt take a soldier to recognize a war

unlike the feeling of a summer breeze or winter chill upon ones face, you dont have to be in a physical war to realize there is a war.

War is relative and sometimes one sided

[Be observant

Be aware

Be cautious]

You are in a war every single day. You are fighting for your tomorrow so you can live today better than your yesterday. 

You are fighting, whether you want to or not.

I hope you win the war because everyday is a battle.

Look into your own eyes, 

it doesn't take a soldier to recognize a war

...somewhere beautiful

I don't know what I was doing. I planned for anything to happen but expected nothing. I filled up my tank, turned on my engine and drove in the direction that felt "right". This direction was conveniently away from everything I knew and anyone I had previously encountered. It felt SO good to just drive away, but I felt like I was really running away. I being relaxed in my motion of solitude. My mind was clearing and my heart felt less heavy though I still felt confused I literally rolled with it.

I turned when it seemed like a good time. I explored where it looked to be interesting. I did this from 11 pm to almost 1 am. I drove away and anywhere. I think I have the habit of making something small a concern but I took the time to just do it, no real questions asked, no one knew I was gone (I am sure they cared). I asked my friends to pray for me because my driving spree didn't seen quite right. It was a bittersweet feeling to know I committed myself to driving (away). I wish I knew why. I think that would really help, maybe. I wish for  a lot of things but only a mustard seed come true.

I want to YELL at the top of my lungs. I want to DRIVE to anywhere and everywhere. I want to BREATH the air of peace of mind. I want to SEE love at its finest. I want to BE exactly who I should be.

...the fault lied in your eyes

I am running toward everything and anything...
I can get my hands on that will support my efforts to fulfill my dreams.

I AM TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

In simple terms...

I am about to exceed previous expectations, knock down unforeseen walls, and walk down untravelled paths. I am about to make MY dream a reality. I am about to get mine because of one reason, I want it!

Everyday is another step closer, another moment of hesitation overwhelmed with courage in the impossible. Everyday is getting me there and every night is pushing me closer. I don't know what it is. I know I am afraid of what tomorrow brings but I am also excited. I have my doubts but they are society driven and not personally supported.

I know what I know and I don't know what I don't know....

and I know I WILL MAKE IT. 

I have no reason not to. I have no reason to turn around. I have nothing to fall on. I am in the process of building. An unfinished house is not a home but a failed attempt to but in the time for what you wanted.

I am putting myself in those places I think I need to be.
Presenting myself the best I know how...genuine.

Everyday I remind myself of the next BIG goal and then the vision afterwards. 

Everyday is a painful reminder that I am not there yet.

Everyday is a joyous recognition that the journey is the most fulfilling part. 

Everyday I hope....Everyday I wish....Everyday I dream....

Everyday I close my eyes and imagine...

That today is finally that day....

The day my feet begin to walk down another unwritten path

Everyday I look at the world around me....I see their dying soles....

the forgetful appreciations for life...

Everyday I see I understand that the fault lied in your eyes when you told me you wanted it...your passion had died...your wishes had faded...and youve been "awake" too long to actually dream

Everyday the person I don't want to be is looking at the person I dream of being

        motivating....intimidating...she has the fire in her eyes...borderline tears...   

                because she knows I WILL leave her behind

...give me 10 minutes

You never think you are missing something until you build up the courage take a moment and lose it. In your honesty you recognize how important it is to you and from that point on are driven to never actually lose it, to keep it as close as possible.

Well, that is you, at least I think.


I have never been one to hold back but when it comes to real things, I am a coward. I can't handle the suspense and mystery. I can't handled the feeling of looking over the cliff hoping I don't fall. (But at least I stepped up in a quite storm kind of way.)

I am waiting to exhale in your arms. (If you will have me)

There are those that make you smile, then there are those that are your smile.

[Part of me wishes you would find this one day.
-------Part of me wishes it was good "etiquette" to put it all in one basket
--------------Part of me wishes I could just send it to you in words. (I love words). ]

I hope one day I won't wish you'd read my letters, but instead write them with me.

You'd understand so much.

It would explain my nervousness, my forwardness, my excitement, my passiveness.

It would explain me with you. 

Can I really be that scared? This is sad.

Hypocrite signing off....

...can we be imperfect together?

can we be imperfect together?

play our love song in time's forever

mess up notes and sing off key

will you put the us in me?

can we be imperfect together? 

seal our moment in a letter

shoot down stars and dance in rain

keep my thoughts borderline insane

can we be imperfect together?

your presence, my hidden treasure

hand crafted flaws in every stitch

trusting you, a momentary bliss

can we be imperfect together?

explore the unknown of the nevers

give in to uncertain endeavors

let the love song last forever

can we be imperfect together? 

can we be?

imperfect together? 

can we be?

[forever insane hidden treasures]

[love letter crafted uncertain]