Sunday, February 20, 2011

...somewhere beautiful

I don't know what I was doing. I planned for anything to happen but expected nothing. I filled up my tank, turned on my engine and drove in the direction that felt "right". This direction was conveniently away from everything I knew and anyone I had previously encountered. It felt SO good to just drive away, but I felt like I was really running away. I being relaxed in my motion of solitude. My mind was clearing and my heart felt less heavy though I still felt confused I literally rolled with it.

I turned when it seemed like a good time. I explored where it looked to be interesting. I did this from 11 pm to almost 1 am. I drove away and anywhere. I think I have the habit of making something small a concern but I took the time to just do it, no real questions asked, no one knew I was gone (I am sure they cared). I asked my friends to pray for me because my driving spree didn't seen quite right. It was a bittersweet feeling to know I committed myself to driving (away). I wish I knew why. I think that would really help, maybe. I wish for  a lot of things but only a mustard seed come true.

I want to YELL at the top of my lungs. I want to DRIVE to anywhere and everywhere. I want to BREATH the air of peace of mind. I want to SEE love at its finest. I want to BE exactly who I should be.

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