Day 1 of 50 days of summer

Yesterday after my test felt beautiful. I called up my friend. We ate then I went to the mall to treat myself to some summer dresses. I deserved it. Right? Months of studying came down to a 5 hour test. That will determine the next course of my journey to becoming a doctor. Talk about pressure. But I felt okay. My friends helped take my mind off of the fact that I have to wait a month for my scores by hanging out and just talking. Its really the simple things that make up the beauty of life. After a day filled of relaxing I drove back and got home around 1am. I really wanted to sleep in my bed and wake up in my house. I wanted to feel relaxed and refreshed for the next phase of this season of life.

When I look back at this weekend I will ask myself one question. Why did you clean your room the first morning after your test? My thought, why not? It was looking ridiculous and its hard to enjoy freedom in a mess. So I packed, straightened and got my room going in the right direction to move out in a couple of weeks. (I know that will be a bittersweet day. Not because I love this house, I could care less. Its because my roommates will be moving on to their next steps. Crazy but good.)

I got to watch soccer with some friends today. It was a great game! The FIFA Women's World Cup Final with USA and Japan. (Soccer is the only girl sport that I can watch that doesnt weaken the sport because of the limited ability that girls possess when it comes to athleticism.) The game went to penalty kicks and I must say the US were horrible at it. It was sad. But Japan got a solid win in the end. During the game I thought in the back of my mind how it just felt good to relax and not worry about the sacrifice a moment of fun had when it came to studying for "that one test".

For the 50 days of summer I have a few things planned that will be really sweet. Texas will be a blast and I am really excited to go rock climbing. I want to read more medical oriented and leisure books. I need to fix my guitar string so I can actually play it this summer. I have to learn to play this summer! It sucks that I feel that it is necessary to say I have a guitar but I cant play it.

I met someone today when I went to hang out with my friends. I assumed by the end of the convo that he was a doctor. But he began his post introduction convo basically saying that I shouldnt be a doctor.

1. That was bold considering you are one. So you are saying your unhappy and your not going to change your lifestyle.
2. People have different motivations to be a doctor, different goals, and desired pathways.
3. I respect what you have to say. At least you have the sacrifice to back up your statement. But really?I I think that its really weird to just come straight out and say that. But I appreciate the honesty.

He could have at least just said that you should really take the time to think about why you want to be a doctor and how it will change your life, for the better and worse.

Yes. One of my concerns with becoming a doctor is questioning how I will feel when I become one. What will change and what will be sacrificed but I also think about what will be gained and enhanced because of it. I know with what every I do in life or work to do I will have concerns with whether or not it is the right thing to do or if its what I really want to do. The way I see it, I should at least try and see what happens.


I would rather try and fail then regret and wonder. My happiness will not be dictated by the actions of others but by my actions and respect for what I want in life. My happiness is simply my happiness and has nothing to do with how others feel about my actions. At the end of the day, I am answering to myself. So if I fall I will fall hard on my knees and no one elses. 

Embrace new phases, they are the fuel of life.